Tales of the Parodyverse

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Al B. Harper
Thu Oct 19, 2006 at 10:04:11 am EDT
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Al B. Harper Chapter 16: The Coming of the Bonsai Kittens - a tie-in to Dancer #39 and the latest UT arc.
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Al B. Harper Chapter 16: The Coming of the Bonsai Kittens - a tie-in to Dancer #39 and the latest UT arc.

Al B. Harper’s main laboratory, The Lair Legion Mansion, Parodiopolis Island, Parodiopolis Sound, Parodiopolis, Parodyverse.


Al B. Harper is engrossed in construction of what looks to be a complex papier-mâché dummy.

Al B. Harper: making this complex papier-mâché dummy sure is engrossing.

Amy Aston walks in, wearing her customary overalls sans anything else.

Amy: …

Amy: Uh, Al B. is that a complex papier-mâché dummy you are making, and if so why?

Al B: *holds up dummy* this, my dear Amy, is my ventriloquist dummy that I shall be using for my performance in the Save Shep’s Variety Theatre Show.

Amy: *raises an eyebrow and looks disapprovingly at the paper doll* Al, you created Yuki Shiro’s complex cybernetic body, surely you can do better than…that?

As Amy says the word “that” the dummy’s head falls of and lands on the floor of the lab with a ‘plop’.

Al B: *somewhat crestfallen* I suppose you are correct.

Amy: Besides, Visionary and Mr Epitome have already called the ventriloquist dummy slot, and believe me, I’ve been to enough variety theatre shows in my time to know that one ventriloquist dummy act is more than enough.

Al B. is tempted to enquiry further about Amy’s obscure theatre going tastes but is distracted by three kittens romping around in his paper recycling tray.

Cute ginger tabby kitten: meow.

Cute and black except for the tips of its paws and tail which are white kitten: meow.

Cute and fluffy white Persian kitten: meow.

Amy: What the!?

Al B: Cats, Amy. Cats. Felis Silvestris Catus to be precise. Three of them in the juvenile, kittens if you will.

Amy: *rolls her eyes* I realise that, but what are they doing here?

Al B looks at the kittens, which have all left the paper-recycling tray and are tearing into the aforementioned papier-mâché dummy head (the one that went ‘plop’ on the floor earlier) with their kitten claws and kitten teeth.

Al B: They are making a mess it seems.

Amy: *not to be dissuaded from discovering the truth* Al, I won’t be dissuaded from discovering the truth, now why are there three kittens in your lab?

Al B: Well *he looks somewhat shameful* Visionary’s daughter took the mice…

Amy: Oh Al! You got these cute little kittens to experiment on?

Al B: *In shock* No! Never! We hired Nats/HamBoy/ManMan for that purpose. The mice were just to keep me company during my long days and nights of solitude here in the lab.

Amy: *after a pause* Anyho, I just came to let you know that Hatman wants to see you in the main strategy room asap!

Al B: He does? Well I’d better go see why then. *Al B. grabs a long page of paper* He probably wants to add more tasks to this list *sigh*.

As Amy and Al B. leave the lab, little to they realise that when the door shuts behind them, it causes a slight change in the air pressure that is just enough to cause the stopper in one of Al’s chemical experiments to pop – resulting in a rapid chain reaction that, well, let’s just say green glowing goop ends up spilling all over the floor.

Three inquisitive kittens rush over to the green glowing goop to investigate.


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Elsewhere:

Cody Harper: The loneliest boy in the Universe

Cody Harper sits in the Hall of The Mirror in the ruins in Comic-Book Limbo.

Cody: I am the loneliest boy in the Universe.

Cody: Uhuna has gone for good. I’m all alone again. Will I ever find my way home? At least I’ve managed to map out the specs for this place and avoid all the hero feeders. Strange that all the missing locations like Wakandybar and Austernia are here as well, with the notable exception Ausgard though. I wonder where it can be?

Suddenly, there is a ruffling and shuffling by the door. Cody tenses, he doesn’t want to be captured by one of the limbo-denizens and turned into a Space Phantom. A ruffled bum enters the hall, he is complete with scruffy trench coat and messy hair (Cody is sure there are twigs in it, possibly even a bird) and a long beard.

Cody: Who the h@llfire are you?

Scruffy Bum: I….don’t remember.

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Back in the LL HQ

Dancer: So, am I going to appear in this crossover or what?

Al B: Sure, I guess…if you want.

Dancer: ‘Bout time…all the business about kittens and lonely kids in limbo is rather ho-hum.

Before Al B. can reply, there is a green flash, as Hallie digitizes in the room.

Hallie: Al B! You better get down to your lab straight away. We seem to have a little problem.


To be continued…?

Dancer: What? To be continued? But what happened to the kittens? And will Cody ever find his way back from Limbo? Where is Ausguard? And who was that scruffy bum? It can’t end like this! It just can’t!

The end…?



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